and I conducted a 12 hour Xbox marathon on Saturday, including our first experience with Halo.

Halo can be played in head-to-head deathmatchs. Two men enter, one man leaves. The other man is a red stain on the floor.
I’m a little too accurate with the grenades for Dan’s taste so we stuck to story mode, where we team up to fight off an alien race called the “Covenant”.
At one point in the second chapter Command provided us with a Warthog all-terrain-vehicle.
But they didn’t provide us with driving lessons. It’s a good thing the Warthog doesn’t take damage from running into the scenery. Sometimes it seemed like the driver was a blind man who had to feel his way around the valley with the bumper.
As usual, Dan drove and I manned the 50 caliber machine gun. Just like real life. When Dan can’t tailgate he gets a little confused, at one point we careened past two alien soldiers and into a creek, under a waterfall and jammed behind a couple of rocks.
Dan tried to get the Warthog unstuck while the aliens up on the bank pelted us with plasma beams, taunted us and otherwise reminded us that they were the superior race. And I couldn’t raise the 50 cal high enough to return fire.
Eventually, Dan’s maneuvering somehow flipped the Warthog and we spilled out of the vehicle. I used this opportunity to take out the aliens with a couple of grenades while Dan set to righting the Warthog, crushing me in the process.
“Hey, buddy! I think the Warthog is leaking oil. Why don’t you take a closer look at the undercarriage?”
On another occasion, I had jumped out of the Warthog to investigate some rocks. As I was returning to the vehicle Dan asked aloud, “I wonder if I can run you over?” This preceded a short but decisive chase that answered Dan’s question in the affirmative.
Later, I managed to lose the Warthog for good, by driving it off a cliff. After dying under it’s wheels twice, I consider this self-defense.

Halo’s a fun game and the Xbox rocks. But after 12 hours, I’m ready to go outside or something…

Tone: I can't commit to anything until I get a job. I mean, I might wind up on the night shift at Kinko's or something.
Dan:  Oh come on. Your sense of entitlement wouldn't allow you to work that late...

I have an account on MySpace, which is like Friendster, LiveJournal, and Hot or Not all rolled into one. I use MySpace like I use Friendster, to promote tonemilazzo.com and try and connect with other comic book hopefuls.
A few weeks ago I had someone named “Christine” request to be my friend on MySpace. I don’t take the word “friend” lightly so I didn’t think that someone who’d never met me would want to friend my account so I just assumed that it was a Christine that I knew in college. It seems that some people out there throw the word friend around with abandon.
This put me in the awkward position of being friended with a 20yr old girl from the east coast with whom I had nothing in common and had nothing to say except that my picture weirded her out.
She was dull. And I didn’t know how to de-friend her without seeming rude. I have a harder time being rude to stranger than I do being rude to friends. On a related note, fuck you Dan.
The weeks passed by and eventually one of her inane postings was a petition to get Bonsai Kitten taken down. Being the enemy of ignorance that I am I messaged Christine and told her “I hope you realize that Bonsai Kitten is satire and they’re not really growing cats in jars.”
Her response, “i hope you realize you are a sick fuck that is no longer on my friend list….. kitty torturer!!!!! “
Problem solved.
For once, my innate ability to alienate women with a trivial application of reason has worked to my advantage.

Tone: ...and you know how I hold a grudge.
Dan: You are the Muhammad Ali of holding a grudge.
    [does impression of Muhammad Ali]
    You cause me trouble
    you cause me strife
    I'll hold it against you
    for the rest of your life!