At the airport gate passengers were stopped and asked to remove all liquids and semi-solids from their luggage, out them in a ziplock bag and pass them through the x-ray independently of the rest of the luggage.

• Toothpaste and shaving cream in a travel bag: Allah Akbar.
• Toothpaste and shaving cream in a plastic bag: Let the eagle soar.

But unopened bottles are exempt from the search so this won’t stop someone from emptying a larger bottle without breaking the seal and filling that bottle with… I’m still not clear on what. I guess they could bring bleach and ammonia and make some chlorine gas in the sink?
It’s just another one of the lies the airlines tell you to make you feel better about flying. Like the seatbelt hand-jive at the start of every flight:

• Be sure to fasten your seatbelt- because that will save you if we hit the ground at 600mph.
• Your seat can be used as a flotation device- if you weigh 30 pounds.
• Turn off all cell phones and other electronic devices- your mp3 player doesn’t produce enough EMF to interfere with the plane, the pilot just doesn’t like your taste in music.

Lies to make us feel better about flying. Which is just a subset of the lies society tells us to make us feel better about living:

• Your government is looking out for you.
• Good eventually wins out over Evil.
• There are such things as Good and Evil.
• Life has value.
• Justice.
• God moves in mysterious ways.
• God.

I used to want societies lies to be true so strongly that I’d deny any evidence to the contrary.
Then I entered a bargaining phase: “Maybe some of these rules are lies, but not the important ones.”
I don’t know if it’s the Buddhism or the Cognitive Science but now I’ve come to terms with all life being an illusion and the lies don’t bother me anymore, as long as I recognize them for what they are.

• The War on Liquids is still going on. More on that later.
• Flight 1: SD -> Dallas -> NC
• First leg of the flight, surrounded by asshole babies. I think the babies outnumbered the humans.
• Dallas is my least favorite airport. Inevitably my incoming flight is at one end of the horseshoe, my connecting flight is at the other end, the train is broken and I have 20 minutes to get there.
• Second leg of the flight, in the back of the plane surrounded by jet engines. Ah, the sweet blissful white noise of jet engines. “Fuck you, asshole babies, you can’t get to me back here!”
• Chapel Hill:
• Smells like leaves, in a good way.
• Met Internet friend Vedana Vaidhyanathan in person for the first time.
• Screwed up the vowels in her name. Not her full name (which would have been understandable) her nickname “Nani”.
• Read three books. More on that later.
• Got told by many old people that I’m tall. Thanks for the heads up, grams.
• My mother, somehow learned how to use the DVR on her own. This is the first piece of technology that she’s figured out since the play & rewind features of the VCR.
• Typical Thanksgiving stuff
• Flight 2: NC -> Chicago -> SD “Into the West”
• From the air, Chicago looks like a finished game of Simcity 3000 on a greyscale monitor.
• Learned that a faulty fuel gauge can restrict an airliner from service.
• Home. Not goin’ anywhere for awhile.

I’ve had the chorus of this song going through my head constantly since 1983.

Now you do to.
Back bark bark bark.

You never see pirates beating up little girls.

Yeah, so the TV Party was a huge success:

I guess I know who my friends are.

But in wrestling, alliances are easily broken:


Things were said:

This is the most despicable thing I’ve ever seen!

Where’s the ref?

I can’t believe what I’m seeing!

U S A! U S A!

Pepsi or choke, bitch?

PEPSI OR CHOKE!

Double clothesline!

We’re out of time. Come back next week folks!

The Self Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior

The Ultimate Warrior a household name and icon in sports-entertainment. A driving guitar beat heralded his explosion to the ring with his signature arm bands and face paint. His intensity was unparalleled. His controversial personality is equally unmatched. Learn about the man and the myth from the people who witnessed his meteoric rise to the WWE Championship in a victory over Hulk Hogan before 65,000 fans at WrestleMania VI. Hear from the Superstars who worked with the man. Did he burn out or drop out?

I’ll be hosting a viewing of this film in celebration of the relaunch of http://www.ultimatewarrior.com/

My place. Tonight. 8pm.

BYOFC
[Bring your own folding chair.]

Monday night I was up until 3am killing fake deer and collecting their eyeballs for a troll witchdoctor.
I woke up the next morning exhausted, W,A,S,D fingers sore and ended up playing all day Tuesday.

I work and [try to] write from the same computer. Having WoW in there too is a good way to make sure that neither of those things get done.

So I uninstalled.

But I might be able to reclaim my lost productivity. I told myself that I’d buy one more month when the first draft of Picking Up the Ghost is done.

I can’t say “Welcome to the slave family” anymore, but I’m now hosting Coup D’Todd for Jessie Wilson’s upcoming film.

If anyone sees me on Fox News tonight please disregard what I said. I didn’t have time to think about the question.

“When Batman votes, he weighs all the options and chooses the best person for the job, regardless of party affiliation or whether they are actually running for office. In other words, he writes-in BATMAN on every ballot.”

-Whose Side is Your Favorite Superhero On?