December 14, 2016 Not the Best Medicine
I entered the room where they were giving away free flu shots at work. A lady coworker waited, psyching herself up before she received her shot. “All right,” she announced as she lumbered toward the chair, limbs stiff as branches. “I’m gonna do this.”
I thought a joke might help. “If you’re nervous, picture the needle in its underwear.”
She screamed “Oh Lord! Don’t say needle!”, turned around, and stood in the corner of the room.
My joke didn’t help.
October 31, 2016 El Santo Night Fever
September 29, 2016 Summer camp has and always will, suck.
At Royal Ranger camp the various church groups competed in campy tasks; knot-tying, tent building, etc.
One competition was; stick a match in a board, head up, and chop at it with an axe, close enough so the match head would strike against the side of the axe without splitting the match.
My church was the only team to place in this event, and I was the only one in my church to light the match. Meaning I was the only one out of hundreds to pull this off.
My incredible feat of match-lightery went unrecognized. That was the day God died.
July 26, 2016 Spam poetry
i m from yemen and live
I have bought alcatel
One touch from somebody here
When try to use it
Request google acount for you
Can you please give me your password just for one time
And you can change it
July 25, 2016 The Stack 2016
Coming in at 14 inches and about $800, I present The Stack 2016. I made a real effort to stay out of those 50% off bins, that helped save my back.
Professionally, the convention went as well as could be expected. Comic Creator Connection put me in touch with a very promising artist for Dead Woman and another for Hayseed Hercules. My science-fiction-beats-Cthulhu pitch was dead in the water as none of the artists knew much about the Mythos.
Me: This story takes place 10 years after humanity defeated the Mi-Go in their first interplanetary war.
Artist: What’s a My Go?
Networking at Comic Con is always awkward, especially as a writer without an artist. The artists in Artist Alley seem to be after the on-the-spot consignment money, and I didn’t want to interrupt the publishers as they were talking about their party plans. Next year, I need to have full project submissions, script and art, if I’m going to break in there. That’s the goal.