I went to a local S&M store, The Crypt, to do some research for Triple Etcetera (my secondary project, more on that in a week or two). I talked to the guy working there, “Scix” his name tag read, who told me about the BDSM scene.
Regional differences: In San Diego, flogging is very popular. Flogging is the act of repeatedly striking another person with a whip, paddle, cat-of-nine-tails, riding crop or other such device.
In Chicago, “Electro Play” is the norm. Not vibrators, but violet wands (Tesla coils) and TENS devices (you’ve seen those electric ab workout machines advertised on TV?). In San Francisco, anything goes.
The Other S&M Scene:The gay S&M scene has little to do with the straight S&M scene. In fact, a lot of gay men don’t want women around when they’re doing their business, the presence of a female throws off their groove or something… I’m sure
The creepiest S&M gear: medical equipment. Surgical clamps, enema kits, and other things that I didn’t want to know about.
Safety: There are two clever safety techniques. The “safe word” is an agreed upon code that the submissive can use to pause or call off a scene. The “safety call” is prearranged by the submissive when in a scene with someone they don’t know very well. Before the scene begins the sub tells a friend where they are and when the scene will be over. If the friend doesn’t get a call from the sub when the scene is over then the friend calls the police.
Lifestyle: Many cities have one or two clubs that cater to the S&M scene, SDPD ensures that San Diego does not. The most popular way to meet other people in the San Diego BDSM scene is via the Internet. Either one-on-one via personal adds or by meeting BDSM groups. It was Scix’s preference to meet the group in a public place like a coffee shop, this allows one to gage their personalities and appearance without committing to anything.
So now you’re all familiar with the S&M basics, go out there and spank some ass! Or get your ass spanked, if that’s your preference.