Why is it that when I have company, when things are getting hot and heavy, when I’m about to triple X throw down, why is it that I’m suddenly incapable of removing my pants with any grace or dignity?

Maybe it’s my big Bavarian calves and feet, but I usually end up with one or both legs in a denim death lock. Then I either alternately pin-and-pull in what looks like a demented softshoe or I’ll try to kick them off like a cat with a piece of tape on the bottom of its foot.

Yes, I’ve fallen down during this process.

Is this a common problem or am I just a big dufus?

Filed under: LiveJournal Days,Uncategorized
Comments: (19)


  1. Order company to remove your pants, silly.

    Or just let them hover dangerously at sub-cock level for a moment from across the room. Company will take over.

    Comment by beautifultoxin — August 17, 2005 @ 12:08 am

  2. Dude, try it from a sitting position. It works much better, although if you do fall, it’s definitely more embarrassing.

    Comment by caramida — August 17, 2005 @ 12:09 am

  3. I’ll try to remember that, but I’m not sure Company will get a chance. I’m such a control freak I sometimes bus my own table at restaurants.

    Comment by tone_milazzo — August 17, 2005 @ 12:46 am

  4. It’s not as dramatic though. Unless the chair is on fire or in a shark tank something…

    Comment by tone_milazzo — August 17, 2005 @ 12:47 am

  5. *giggles softly* maybe blood rushing elsewhere is throwing you off balance? Practice makes perfect, maybe excite yourself before bed and undress as gracefully as you can. It may seem silly, but your nerves might go away with this routine. Surely, nerves are playing a part too…worrying that you’ll fall down or something. Hope this is helpful…and yes it happens to other guys and even girls.

    Comment by teawiththecheat — August 17, 2005 @ 1:11 am

  6. Ah, drama!

    Comment by caramida — August 17, 2005 @ 7:23 am

  7. Remove them while laying down. Or better yet, have the other person remove them.
    And go get ’em, tiger.

    Comment by danifesto — August 17, 2005 @ 8:45 am

  8. Hahaha!! Dude, I’ve never seen a guy remove his pants with particular grace. Sure some people are better than others but that just makes them suspicious. For actual advice, I’d say make the poor ‘other person’ do it so they can feel embarrassed that they can’t remove your pants with any particular grace.

    Or better yet, just let me remove your pants.


    Comment by animaetrix00 — August 17, 2005 @ 10:17 am

  9. Buy looser jeans?

    Comment by jacquelyn4444 — August 17, 2005 @ 10:54 am

  10. I dunno, I don’t like the parachute pant look.

    Comment by tone_milazzo — August 17, 2005 @ 10:58 am

  11. Okay, well, how’s about my other idea: go pants-free all night!

    Comment by jacquelyn4444 — August 17, 2005 @ 11:01 am

  12. After working at home for so long being pants-free just reminds me of work.


    Comment by tone_milazzo — August 17, 2005 @ 11:03 am

  13. How terrible! I’m all for the “pants-free” idea. No pants time should = super fun time.

    Comment by mollymillions — August 17, 2005 @ 11:34 am

  14. you’re just a dufus 馃檪

    Comment by thunderwhelmed — August 17, 2005 @ 7:59 pm

  15. Well if I’m a dufus then I’m going to be the best dufus I can be!

    Comment by tone_milazzo — August 17, 2005 @ 8:50 pm

  16. Damn! You stole my line. LOL

    Comment by aliteraryaffair — August 17, 2005 @ 11:59 pm

  17. (aside)
    What guy can resist two determine, sexy women?


    Comment by aliteraryaffair — August 18, 2005 @ 12:00 am

  18. Bell bottoms seem to be your answer.

    Comment by e_c_d_u_b — August 18, 2005 @ 8:57 am

  19. geez, you people.

    OBVIOUSLY, the answer is to get those pants that are velcro on the side, so you can just yank’em off.


    Comment by _ouroboros_ — August 20, 2005 @ 12:51 pm

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