"Friends"

I updated my Top x on mySpace, not because mySpace matters to me, but because it matters to so many others.
[Aside #1 Those of you who use mySpace comments like they were email: Stop it!].
Now everyone who included me in their Top {4, 8, 12, 16, 20, 24} is in my Top x, where x=20. As long as I don’t make more than four more close personal connections I won’t have to worry about snubbing anyone.
[Aside #2 the best line on anyone’s profile is by Jessie who lists as her interests as: Rainbows and Unicorns, and Rainbow-colored unicorns and unicorn-shaped rainbows. Nothing else interests me. Nothing.]
I hate this softening of the word “friend”. Am I friends with , or the ? No. I’m just friending them to keep track of what they’re working on and I pipe all feeds through my Friends Page.
I wish there was an option to “fan” someone instead, so intentions were clear all around. Even if there was that’s not always right. I’ve had limited interactions with , , and . Bill’s friended me years ago and I checked his LJ often enough that I figured that I figured I’d reciprocate. Melissa friended me since I was reading her blog and I message board and Comic Con know Dirk and Spike but I feel my connection with all these people is somewhere between friend and fan.
As I write this it occurs to me that the real issue is how slowly I develop confidence in my associations with people. I have to have a lot of face-to-face time with a person before I can call them a friend. I know that Christopher and Cramer are my friends even if I rarely see them in person. , and I are practically conjoined twins (imagine how hideous that would be).

If I get published maybe I can consider myself part of the middle class of fame like Spike is. Then I can freely friend everyone who asks on mySpace because “It’s just for promotion anyway”, and ignore anyone I don’t really know on LJ because “I’m just to busy”.

Or maybe I’m over thinking this. I mean, it’s just a blog.

Filed under: LiveJournal Days,Uncategorized
Comments: (6)

6 Comments »

  1. I think it’s mainly a product of the naivet茅 of early developers in the respected applications. When they were starting out, it was hard to see beyond the “provincial” definition of who they would add to their watch lists.

    Eventually, as the project scaled up, they were stuck with the emotionally charged name, “friends,” and thus the beginning of Internet Community/Blog drama and the erosion of the word “friend” began.

    As a side note, the rise of internet forums and IRC further eroded the meaning of “friend” by introducing people to other people that they could talk to, form cliques with, and otherwise “hang out with” without ever actually meeting them.

    Myself, I don’t see LiveJournal’s friend system to be actual friends. I have around 10-20 filters I use to classify who can see a post. Personally, I’d like a difference between “friend” and “watching”, but I think it’s a little late for LJ.

    Comment by jonthegm — January 18, 2007 @ 4:54 pm

  2. hee 馃榾

    Comment by animaetrix00 — January 18, 2007 @ 5:34 pm

  3. I agree with you about the softening of the word “friend”. I would say that perhaps half of my MySpace friends are actually my friends or, at least, acquaintances. I have considered “weeding” my MySpace “friends” list, but it somehow seems rude, which is insane because 99% of the people I would weed out would most likely never even notice.

    Comment by inkswirls — January 18, 2007 @ 5:55 pm

  4. It’s easier for hot girls like you to make friends on the Intertubes than it is for creepy old guys like me.

    Comment by tone_milazzo — January 18, 2007 @ 10:32 pm

  5. I got one filter called “friends” (so as to not be confusing) and that’s were the people I really know go and I since stopped using the “Friends Only” post setting.

    But I really should just lighten up. Maybe I’ll use Greasemonkey to change the word ‘friends’ to ‘people’ over the whole domain…

    Comment by tone_milazzo — January 18, 2007 @ 10:36 pm

  6. I pissed off one of my friends recently and she figured she’s defriend me to teach me a lesson.

    I never noticed.

    Comment by tone_milazzo — January 18, 2007 @ 10:39 pm

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