Disneyland or You Can’t Take Me Anywhere

Pirates of the Caribbean

Me: Quick question; are we subject to maritime law while in this ride?

Cast Member: …sure.

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The Haunted Mansion

Cast Member: There’s no smoking in this ride, sir.

Me: Oh it’s okay. This isn’t tobacco. It’s sage!

Cast Member: Please step out of the line, sir.

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Star Tours–The Adventures Continue

Me: The initial conceit of this ride is that C3-PO isn’t a qualified pilot. But at ten times an hour and a duration of 4 minutes, and thirty seconds (subtracting the 30 seconds spent in the hanger), running ten times every operational hour since the ride opened on June 3, 2013, C3-PO has the equivalent of 3592 hours of flight time. That’s three and a half times what NASA requires of it’s astronauts. If this ride is going to stay in continuity the narrative will need updating.

Cast Member: …sure.

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The Taxi (not a ride, just the taxi)

Me: Hey! You’re our cabdriver from last night. Guess It’s a Small World after all, huh?

Cabdriver: …is okay.

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Indiana Jones Adventure: Temple of the Forbidden Eye

Me (turning around from the driver’s seat): I’m going to need everyone to cough up $5 for gas money.

Other passengers: …no.

Cast Member: Please get out the car, sir.

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Dapper Day was a lot of fun, and I don’t think I’ll visit Disneyland under any other day. By accident, it was also Bats Day and honestly, I think the two should continue to coordinate and blow people’s minds.