San Diego writer of speculative fiction and comicss.
Open to freelance work punching up stories or homepages, script-doctoring, beta reads, or other opinion vendings.
Represented by Cherry Weiner
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May 3, 2016 Disneyland or You Can’t Take Me Anywhere
Pirates of the Caribbean
Me: Quick question; are we subject to maritime law while in this ride?
Cast Member: …sure.
The Haunted Mansion
Cast Member: There’s no smoking in this ride, sir.
Me: Oh it’s okay. This isn’t tobacco. It’s sage!
Cast Member: Please step out of the line, sir.
Star Tours–The Adventures Continue
Me: The initial conceit of this ride is that C3-PO isn’t a qualified pilot. But at ten times an hour and a duration of 4 minutes, and thirty seconds (subtracting the 30 seconds spent in the hanger), running ten times every operational hour since the ride opened on June 3, 2013, C3-PO has the equivalent of 3592 hours of flight time. That’s three and a half times what NASA requires of it’s astronauts. If this ride is going to stay in continuity the narrative will need updating.
Cast Member: …sure.
The Taxi (not a ride, just the taxi)
Me: Hey! You’re our cabdriver from last night. Guess It’s a Small World after all, huh?
Cabdriver: …is okay.
Indiana Jones Adventure: Temple of the Forbidden Eye
Me (turning around from the driver’s seat): I’m going to need everyone to cough up $5 for gas money.
Other passengers: …no.
Cast Member: Please get out the car, sir.
Dapper Day was a lot of fun, and I don’t think I’ll visit Disneyland under any other day. By accident, it was also Bats Day and honestly, I think the two should continue to coordinate and blow people’s minds.