January 31, 2016 Annnnd Done
It spent years in the incubator, due to day jobs and other commitments, but I can finally say The Faith Machine is a complete, readable, and finished. At least until an editor tells me otherwise.
I processed the feedback from my gracious beta readers, made cuts, fleshed out descriptions, and added a whole new chapter to show what’s at stake if the bad guy wins. At 96,993 words it’s a little on the heavy side but within the limits.
While I query agents, I’ll be working on 7 short independent pieces that follow up after this book, to build a body of work around my heroes, Project Dead Blind. Short fiction can reach into markets that a novel can’t, published or not.
But for tonight, I’m just happy to be done.
The Query letter, for the curious:
The Faith Machine is a science fiction novel of international action, espionage, and E.S.P. What if James Bond were to lead the X-Men through the X Files? Where psychic powers are linked to mental disorders, and a little bit of power means a life spent resisting corruption, and dodging assassination.
Doctor Ken Park is a Korean-American spy with a PhD in psychology. He’s the field commander of Project Dead Blind, a team of six unruly, paranormal agents. Among them is Park’s right-hand woman Ainia, a Latina who believes she’s a reincarnated Amazon warrior, Isaac Deal, who can mimic the skills of those around him when he’s on a bi-polar high, and Pollyanna, a depressed cynic with the unreliable power of positive thinking.
Sent to Africa to recover a Soviet psychotronic super-weapon, their mission is a failure. An agent is wounded and their target is destroyed. The team is scattered and pursued across America by the FBI, the Chinese Bureau of Spirit Suppression, and the mysterious Casemen.
The Faith Machine will appeal to readers of Tim Powers’ Declare, Grant Morrison’s The Invisibles, and Jon Ronson’s The Men Who Stare at Goats. It’s complete at 96,993 words.
My first novel, Picking Up the Ghost, was published by ChiZine in 2011 and optioned for film by Breaking the Cycle Films LTD.
Thanks for your time and consideration. I hope to hear from you.
Sincerely, Tone Milazzo
July 28, 2015 They Got Too – Too – Too Much Posse
Problem: I have a team seven protagonists and this isn’t an origin story. Since they all know each other, they’re mobilized right away. Originally, the team leader spent two chapters traveling the country and activating his agents in a sequence not unlike Ocean’s Eleven.
However, that’s a lot easier to pull of in a visual medium. No one watching a movie is going to confuse Bernie Mac with Brad Pitt. In particular I had two women on the team that readers were confusing, Polly and Gabby.
Initial solution: Clearly, the spellings of Polly and Gabby are too close, so I replaced Polly with the full name Pollyanna. I also increased Pollyanna’s potty mouth and her a love of literature (dropping lit references in conversation) while cleaning up Gabby’s language and dumbing her down a bit.
Further solutions: 1) Cold Open: I’m going to extend the book with an action sequence at the beginning that’s loosely related to the rest of the novel, like in some James Bond movies. That’ll give me 2000-3000 words to introduce three of the four characters before jumping around the country for the other four.
2) Character Dossiers: Since this is an espionage story I can write up one page reports on the protagonists from the point of view of the spy master. They’ll come in after each character’s introductory scene and if the ink bleeds into the edge of the page readers can easily use them as reference. Like how fantasy novels used to have a reference appendix.
After this rewrite, I’ll try it on another series of beta readers. If they’re not confused then I’ll know if it worked.
July 7, 2015 Done & Done
I’m going into Comic Con in a good head space with baggage cleared.
One the software front, I released the Android version of Texts From Jesus last week. Software is never really done. We have plans to add multiple languages to the app starting with Spanish. Once we have all the major languages covered… Texts From Buddha
In fiction news, The Faith Machine is almost at the end of its second draft. I’m working shopping the last three chapters tonight. I have a few more versions to make, plot and character threads to cut or tie off, and a cold open to write, but if all goes well and if Con leaves me as creatively charged as it usually does I should be into third draft next month.
What I don’t have is a series of good pitches for Comic Con, a skill I really need to work on. But there’s two days until Con and who needs sleep anyway?
How about you? How are you doing?
February 12, 2015 The Hard Part is Over
The Faith Machine first draft… done. 88,227 words is a tad on the short side. But I have a lot of scenes in the last act that need fleshing out beyond the dialog. And I plan on throwing on ten action packed and unrelated opening pages, ala a James Bond movie. Not to mention everything I forgot to write. That Hellfire missile I foreshadowed in the second act, totally forgot about it in the third. And I never showed the consequences of the villain’s success before he was defeated. That’s got to go in there somewhere.
Next: I take a week off to clear my head, even do some camping. Then I give the entire document a few pass-throughs. Like an iron pressing out the wrinkles. I’ll be looking for plot threads that changed or were lost over the last year. There used to be three clones floating around in tanks, now there’s one. Most importantly, make sure everyone’s agenda leads them to the climax. And I’ll be looking for opportunities to foreshadow elements I thought of while writing the last half.
I like the second draft. This is where I pretend that someone else tried to write my novel and it’s my job to fix it. I mean look right here, he forgot about the Hellfire missile.
January 27, 2015 Just givin’ it away… and other things
To celebrate Family Literacy Day (Canada) Between 8AM and 8PM today, January 27, 2015, ChiZine Publications is making PDF copies of these eBooks available for FREE, including Picking Up the Ghost
To celebrate Family Literacy Day (US) they’ll be giving out DVDs.
December 30, 2014 The Faith Machine, Undone And Ugly
- Write at least 250 words (equivalent to a page) everyday. Every 250 words is a point.
- Keep score with continuous blocks of goals met. Ex. If you’re written 250 words a day for a week your score is 7. 500 words a day for a week, 14. But if you miss a next day your score drops all the way back down to 0.
As this chain builds and your score gets into the two or three digits it taps into the compulsive part of the brain, the seed of game addiction. Using that nasty bit of neurology for good instead of evil.
So far I’ve only played by the first rule with a macro-less spreadsheet. Eventually I aim to write a full web app to calculate the score. In the meantime I’ve written up this basic version using ZingChart.
Setting a daily goal of 500 words a weekday and 1000 a weekend I managed to get 27,922 words written these last two months. That’s almost half of my total words written so far and I didn’t make my goal everyday, not by a long shot. I was only a third in, now I might be done by mid February. The desire to fill cells on the spreadsheet is a great motivator.
(Note: This isn’t a fair comparison. I was work-shopping as I wrote the first 40,000 words. They’re in their second draft, while everything I’ve written since November is a rough first draft. But the goal is to get the first draft done since that’s the hardest part.)
The Third Act is my Complication
No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy and neither did my outline survive contact with the third act. Changes I made in the first act invalidated large parts of the third. Major characters had their roles changed and needed to be replaced. Motivations no longer lined up with actions. Moles reconsidered their treason. Characters that died lived and vice versa. The warranties expired on my MacGuffins. I hit that wall and I spent Christmas weekend re-plotting the last five chapters. Gotta blue that print, measure twice, and proper that planning if the words are to flow.
Because done… done is beautiful.
July 23, 2014 Today is not your day to die. No, not you either.
I haven’t posted much since the Conference. There’s hasn’t been much to post. I really don’t do much except work and write. And the world doesn’t need another word count tally.
I had half an insight while writing The Faith Machine: A protagonist was going to die in the first act to show the stakes were high. For this purpose I created Gabby, the hillbilly with poor impulse control who could force a crowd to listen to her talk. But Gabby grew on me. I saw potential to use her throughout the story and stories beyond.
So Gabby got a say of execution. But I still wanted someone to die. So I created 97:4, the Bible-banging electrokinetic with pica. But she grew on me too. Lesson learned;
I make awesome characters that should never die disposable heroes aren’t my thing. Maybe that’s why I fixate on characters who died before their full stories played out, like Thunderbird and Swordsman.
Maybe so, maybe not. Either way, that’s a blog post. See y’all at Comic Con!
February 21, 2014 SDSU Writers’ Conference
I heard the SDSU Writers’ Conference was a good place to land an agent, and that was my agenda. The place was crawling with industry professionals and I did get some interest from one of the advanced readings, but for the most part I’ll have to chalk this one up as a learning experience.
On Friday there were panels on pitching and query letters. I needed a pitch, so that panel was really useful. As for the query letter panel, well I can’t trust anyone who has never seen Star Wars.
Saturday was the day for advanced readings. I sent in 10 pages and $50 dollars for some face time with some agents. One liked the concept of The Faith Machine enough to ask for more. Boom! But all of them said my opening was too exposition heavy. Point taken. I rewrote the first scene with less back story any more animosity. That was a valuable bit of feedback and the rewrite will strengthen a weak plot thread.
I also met a few cool, speculative fiction writers, other attendees. And I attended a few panels that didn’t tell me anything new, but it was good to know that my knowledge of social media and blogging is still up to date.
I’d thought that being published would have given me a bit of a leg up, put me in a position where to attract an agent as a proven writer. But no, I’m probably still going to have to write the second book on spec before most agents will consider a look. However, of all the agents that I pitched too, none of them said that it was a dumb premise and should be abandoned so I got some encouragement out of it, that was worth $600 right there.
January 23, 2014 The Faith Machine Chapter Three
In Liberia, Park allows street urchins to pick his pocket while on his way to the US Embassy. Inside, he uncovers information on an abandoned facility that might be the Faith Machine installation as well as information on The Baptist, a local religious leader who may be at odds with whomever is operating the Faith Machine. Outside, he’s confronted by the teen-age leader of the street urchins. The oldest boy’s face is covered in blue from the dye pack that was in Park’s wallet. Park cons the teen out of his knife and recruits the two child pickpockets as guides. They set off to find The Baptist’s ministry in the slum of West Point.
In a luxury hotel Isaac wins a game of poker against wealthy Liberians and Chinese businessmen. After the game he’s threatened by four rough looking thugs from General Mamba, a warlord turned crimelord left over from the civil war. They intend to kidnap him. Isaac calls their bluff, they won’t try anything inside the casino. He casually tosses his poker winnings in the air, escaping in the chaos.