January 20, 2014 The Faith Machine Chapter One
In a Washington DC park, Agent Ken Park (imagine John Cho as James Bond) receives his orders from his spymaster, James Ensign. Ensign has spent years investigating the Faith Machine, a series of Soviet installations that weaponize religious beliefs, and has uncovered the last remnant of the program in Africa. While Ensign follows a lead in China, Park will go to Liberia, a country still recovering from years of brutal civil war, and he’ll be taking Project Dead Blind’s six primary agents with him.
Park travels around the country activating his agents. In Philadelphia, his second in command, Agent Ainia, is working her day job as a stunt-woman. A Latina who believes she’s a reincarnated Amazon warrior with the grace and brutality to prove it. Ainia is eager for some real action. She accompanies Park as he contacts the others.
January 2, 2014 Chapters? Check. Outline? Check. Query letter? Check.
A new year and a new phase for The Faith Machine. Finished the outline and the first three chapters yesterday. I’m waiting on some last feedback for the chapters before I submit. I plan on posting the chapters to my Deviantart account, in the meantime here’s the query letter:
The Faith Machine is a science fiction tale of international action, espionage and E.S.P. Imagine James Bond leading the Alphas against a being that claims to be God.
Ken Park is the field commander of Project Dead Blind, a team of powerful, but unruly, psychic government agents, sent on an investigation of the remnants of a Soviet psychotronic weapon program in Africa. But the investigation goes bad, and the agents find themselves scattered and pursued by the FBI, China’s 13th Bureau, a cult of America’s political elite and the mysterious Casemen armed with weaponized brains. They dodge arrest and murder while figuring out what put them on everyone’s hit list, undertaking an investigation that leads them to an underground laboratory in North Korea.
My first novel, Picking Up the Ghost, was published by ChiZine in 2011, is available as an audio book on Audible.com and was optioned for film by Breaking the Cycle Films LTD.
Thanks for your time and consideration. I hope to hear from you at your earliest convenience.
Sincerely, Tone Milazzo
September 5, 2013 56 Steps Forward.
I know I’m supposed to blog more but it’s almost been two years since Picking Up the Ghost and it’ll probably be another two before The Faith Machine sees print. So building an audience doesn’t feel like a real priority. The more blogging I do, the less writing gets done. And between the day job, night classes, the PMP certification and working with Comic Fest, time for writing has gotten precious.
That said, writing is happening. I’m 56 pages into the current draft/redraft. Melissa and I were invited into a new writer’s workshop which means I have to produce ten or so pages every two weeks or I feel like a slouch.
Workshopping as I go has already been helpful. On Ghost I pounded out the whole novel without any input. Consequently, when it hit the workshop I had to rewrite the second half. On Faith I’ve already cut three scenes that failed to move the plot forward resulting in a faster moving story. The feedback has also made me take a closer look at some of the scenes that remain. Did I really need the Soviet clones, frozen brains of psychics, the Gnostic poem and the personality upload operation all in the first 6 pages? Nope.
On the horizon, a deadline looms. I plan to land an agent at SDSU’s Writers’ Conference in January. Having at least 40 polished pages ready to go is part of that plan.
So less blogging, more writing.
June 12, 2013 Audible
Beyond signing the contract I wasn’t involved in the process. I was worried that they’d get an English woman to do the reading but thankfully Audible is smarter than that. After listening to it I’ve some thoughts and feelings:
This is proof that someone has read the book, that is unless Brandon Massey is some kind of sophisticated AI.
Boy, I used the n-word a lot. Brandon Massey’s a black man so every time I think “I just made him say that.” This may not be a unique emotional experience but I’m guessing you can count the number of us who’ve felt this way on one hand.
A lot of the names were pulled from African folklore and I honestly had know idea how Akotun, Eshu Wara, Olamide and others were supposed to sound so now I have a pronunciation guide.
There were three sentences that made me cringe. “In the hallway the goatman was asleep at the end of the hallway.” was one of them. The other two were worse. I’m going to be more careful when I proof read next time.
Getting my story out there in another medium is a damn good feeling.
February 26, 2013 Optioned!
Breaking the Cycle Films has optioned Picking Up the Ghost for a screenplay. This means they’ve bought some time to get a movie rolling. There’s a list of acceptable criteria for this. Since I’m still new to contracts I’m not sure what I should make public and what’s a secret so I’ll just leave that vague.
What it really means is that a complete stranger read my book and liked it enough to want to make a movie out of it. And that feels pretty good.
February 6, 2013 Fourteen Steps Back
Fifteen pages into The Faith Machine and it was clear that one of the plot threads was hopelessly convoluted. A kidnapping without an explanation, and the recovery of a lost cellphone from those same kidnappers while a car battery was being stolen for reasons that made sense in the outline but fell apart once words starting being put to paper. It was only one of three opening threads but unfortunately it was the core plot and the entangling had ramifications on all the others. Out of those fifteen pages I think I can keep one.
Nobody spins gold one the first draft. I can’t remember how many times I rewrote the opening to Picking Up the Ghost but it was more than four. If it was later in the book that plot might have been saved. But the first chapter should be about introductions, character, setting, style, genre rules. It’s not about plot twists, there isn’t a plot to twist yet.
It’s back to the outline and I more confident at this pass. Every pass makes it better. And it’s better to get the rewriting in now than after the polish.
January 10, 2013 Back in the saddle.
First drafts suck, both the production and the product. That’s easy to forget after being in a state of having had written for over a year.
I’ve been plotting The Faith Machine for over a year and it’s time to start actually writing. Plotting is addictive. Not only does it take research, which is fun, but it’s easier than writing prose and, since no one will ever see it, immune to critique.
In this interview with Tim Powers he advised to pretend that the first draft was written be someone else and it’s now your job to fix it. I’m going to use that to get some distance when I go into editing and as reassurance that these words will get better after I can fix them.
I hope you get something out of this post but isn’t for you, it’s for me.
October 30, 2012 World Fantasy Toronto – Facing the Storm
As of this posting it looks like Hurricane Sandy is taking a hard right up the coast to Maine so I should be in luck weather-wise. You never hear about planes getting knocked out of the air by a storm but there’s always a first time.
Exciting times ahead, I’ll be moderating the following panel:
THE CHANGING FACE OF YA FANTASY, 10:00 a.m. VAUGHAN WEST
Fantasy works for young adult readers have changed over the years, perhaps even more than their counterparts for adults. The themes tackled are more cutting-edge; a wider variety of cultures is explored; locations are often more realistic, more gritty and urban, than in the past; a more diverse cast of characters is brought into play; and the heroines and heroes are perhaps more realistic than their predecessors. Our panel will discuss the popularity of YA fantasy, its changing face, and its future.
With Laura Anne Gilman, Hiromi Goto, Morgan Keyes, Amanda Sun.
August 29, 2012 Faith Machine Schematics
The first act is pretty solid and the second act is coming together. I figure the third act won’t take too long to outline since I’ve had most of it in my head since day one but I’ve said that before.
Last weekend was spent transcribing into Google Docs. I’ve been walking around with 40 scenes of outline and about 10 more pages of miscellaneous notes, putting far too much faith in my ability to hold onto things.
I thought I had a solid outline for Picking Up the Ghost but it broke down towards the middle and I didn’t get any feedback on it. I’ll be running this outline by some people before the actual writing starts and hopefully I won’t have to rewrite the second half of this book.
This has also helped juxtapose and manipulate ideas before they gel. Originally I had five golden rings as MacGuffins but not only are rings played out but they were supposed to be relics of the Soviet Union and small and shiny doesn’t evoke the USSR so I changed them to big clunky chairs. This demobilization had all kinds of implications for the cast and plot which I would have been reluctant to do if I was 40 pages into the prose. But in an outline it just took a few hours to adjust.
Outlining rules. m/ m/
July 20, 2012 Pessimism
I received a particular rejection email recently from a local company:
Thank you for your inquiry.
I typically don’t reply to a candidate if I feel it’s not a good fit, but in this case I’d like to offer a small piece of advice for your future job search. I definitely sensed a bit of pessimism in your email which was the main reason we disqualified you.
I’m not sure how wanting to leave my current job is pessimistic.
Also not sure how writing a novel on spec is pessimistic. A year of evenings hunched over the laptop against the odds of the final product being published or even publishable, is that pessimistic? Then another year rewriting after a peer review hated the second half of it, was that pessimistic? To keep submitting through 45 agent and 4 publisher rejections, maybe that was pessimistic? And after I beat the odds and had my first novel published, and a 6 months of lackluster sales, what did I do in a fit of pessimism? I started outlining my next novel. Maybe that was pessimistic.
She doesn’t want to hire me, that’s okay. I can take rejection. And after receiving this email I don’t want to work for her either. I definitely sensed that she’s a poor judge of character. Just a bit.